Monday, April 15, 2013
Over the past year as I watch my little Ethan struggle with his health issues I have had so many experiences that have changed my perspective on life forever. One of the funnest vacations that we took our kids on was a cruise. While we were on the cruise I was getting so impatient and frustrated because Ethan just could not keep up. I couldn't understand why he couldn't alternate his feet on the stairs. I was so impatient, I wouldn't let him wear flip flops because it was almost impossible for him to keep them on his feet and walk. In July we went to Yellowstone with Grandma Dalton and cousins. I knew that I had a stress fracture in my foot before we left but figured that since I wasn't running my foot would be fine. I could hardly walk, my foot was so painful. I had to use both feet on the steps and I couldn't keep up with the rest of the group. I would pack ice onto my foot while I drove to help with the pain and swelling. When we got back from the trip the doctor ended up having to put a hard cast on (it also turned out that my foot was fractured all the way on the 3rd metatarsal). I felt a lot of sorrow for my impatience in dealing with Ethan as he tried to keep up with me. My sweet Ethan would slow down while we were at Yellowstone just to be by my side. I love my little sunshine boy and all that he teaches me! A few years ago I ran a half marathon in Burley. I had been training for awhile and felt like I had my speed down pretty well. My mom was also coming to run the race. When the race started I felt great, I had a good pace and thought I might have a really good time at the end. As my Mom has gotten older she has gotten a bit slower in running. I have taken pride in being able to beat her in races. Well, about half way through the race I started to have some pain in the right side of my knee. It didn't seem to matter what I did, it really hurt. I could walk and it felt okay but running on the curve of the road really made my knee hurt. Because I began to run slower my mom caught up to me. I told her that she should keep running and go on without me, but she refused. She stayed with me the whole rest of the race and encouraged me to keep going. My mom is such a great example to me and I am so thankful for her. It is really hard for me to get Ethan on the bus. He is so tired in the mornings that I usually end up getting him dressed and handing him a muffin or something that he can eat on the bus. This morning was no exception, however he and Spencer missed the bus. I told them that I would drive them to a bus stop to catch the bus. When the bus came Spencer hopped out and was on the bus before my little Ethan was even out of the car. Ethan walked his little slow walk across the road to get on the bus. As I watched him walk and looked at the bus driver, something told me "He doesn't see him." I rolled my window down, and the bus started to pull forward. I saw the bus touch Ethan and I started screaming for the bus driver to stop. Fortunately for me he saw me panic and stopped the bus. He opened his window and told me thank you. He didn't see Ethan at all. He was watching for a dog that likes to chase the bus. He and I exchanged a moment of relief and then we went on with our days. That moment, changed me. I know that it is by the tender mercies of the Lord that my little Ethan was spared. I am so thankful for him. This past week I have been quite sick. I have had a terrible chest cold and it seems like all I do when I lay down to rest is cough. By the time evening rolls around my voice is hoarse and I feel pretty crappy. The other night my sweet little Ethan could hear in my voice that I was sick and he asked me "mom are you sick?" I said "Yes, I am." He asked me if I was sick all day and I said yes. With tears in his little eyes he told me how sorry he was that I was sick and didn't get to rest. I really know that he understands. There are times that he is so tired of walking that he crawls. When we stayed with my sister Leslie over spring break his legs were hurting him so much that he couldn't stand to go up and down the stairs. I would help him climb on my back and piggy back him up the stairs. There are so many sweet things I love about my little Ethan. I know he was meant to be a part of my family.