In a good placeI don't know if I mentioned before but I am now the secretary in the Relief Society Presidency at our Church. The RS president used to help with the LDS 12 step program in our area. One time a few years ago when I questioned if I should let my brother come and live with me I called her. She was so level headed and gave me great advice. I remember her asking me what I was going to do when he came home high. Would I kick him out? I know whatever I did would certainly affect my kids, and I didn't really want that kind of influence on them. I remember I kept saying "what if I tell him he can't live with me and he dies, then it will be my fault." It is so interesting how time and experience can change your perspective.I am at a point in my life where I know that it doesn't matter what I say or do, my brother is going to do what he wants to do. I pray for him and I often reflect on the Serenity prayer (this is the same prayer they use at AA) God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. I love my brother so much and I would do anything in my power to change the choices that he is making but I recognize that I am powerless. I do put my trust in a higher power though. I know that my prayers are heard. I don't know what is to happen in my brothers life, but I have peace in my own. I still have hope that he will change, not very much hope, but I realized that I can't really ever lose hope that a miracle will happen.
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