Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Poison part one

A couple of years ago I remember a hit song coming out called Stay High. In the Lyrics it says: You're gone and I got to stay high, All the time to keep you off my mind. I remember hearing it and thinking what a sad message that we are sending. Maybe I should have turned it off, It has such a catchy little tune I even found it playing in my mind! One of the hardest things as a mother is to watch one of my children struggle. It doesn't matter what type of struggle it is my heart hurts for them. Last Summer and the school year before were really hard on my oldest son Spencer. Many times I would find myself stopped in front of his closed bedroom door pondering if I should go in. Silently watching him grasp to find his way through life. At the very beginning of June there was a scout camp for the boys in our ward that were Spencer's age and Austin's age, since they are only 18 months apart. Spencer didn't really want to go on the camp but I made the alternative worse if he stayed home. I really felt he needed to go. The first day at camp Spencer was rolling rocks with the other boys his age and fell down a steep embankment and hurt his foot. I took him to the doctor the next day but the hospital said it was just a sprain and he would be fine. The week went by and the next week and his foot was still hurting him and in pain. We went to a foot specialist who took another X-ray and we found out that he had a really bad injury to his foot which required immediate surgery. The injury was so serious that he would be unable to play any sports for 6 months. After surgery he wasn't supposed to put weight on his foot at all but he just couldn't resist hobbling around after being cooped up for so long. One of the things I noticed as Spencer struggled is that he would make comments about famous piano composers that I love like "Beethoven was an alcoholic." It almost seemed as though he thought that the alcohol or drugs were what really gave them the artistic inspiration to be able to make incredible music. I would counter argue that Handel was truly inspired by God when he wrote The Messiah. He seemed to idolize a handful of musical composers and musicians a large part of whom used alcohol and drugs throughout their careers. I felt concerned for his behavior and sad that he thought the way to inspiration was by using substances that alter your perceptions of life. One day as we were shopping at a local store for garden seeds we came across some morning glory seeds. In my high school years I had read that they have the same effects as LSD. I even ate a few seeds in high school to see. I don't remember it making me feel any different. One of the main things that I remember feeling in High school was depressed. I could relate to the feelings of my son but I didn't know how to reach out and help him. I wanted him to see his worth through his eyes. I would try to approach the subject by saying "I think you are looking like you don't feel well, are you feeling sick or depressed?" His response would include an eye roll and "I'm fine mom." In a very annoyed voice. I tried to make myself stop asking, even now I catch myself asking. On the 24th of July I had planned to make a cake for my Mother In Law because her birthday is on the 25th. I sent Spencer to town for the ingredients that I didn't have. Shortly before he came home from the store I started to make one of his favorite dinners- Garlic Chicken. I left the chicken to simmer and laid down for a short rest before dinner. Hailey came into my room to tell me she needed a ride to a birthday party so I asked Spencer to run her up there. While he was gone I got up and finished making dinner. I remember very clearly when he came back he kind of stumbled through the french doors into our living room and said "I'm not feeling very well." I looked over at him through the kitchen and in my mind I heard clearly "he has taken something." I finished dinner and tried to wake Spencer up to eat but he didn't wake up. I just figured that since his stomach wasn't feeling well he needed sleep. Several hours later as I left to pick Hailey up from her party I noticed that my car was parked so close to the lockers in the garage that the bumper was almost touching them. I felt annoyed about it because I figured Spencer did it on purpose to annoy me. As the evening progressed I remember altering some jeans of Tyler's. While I was sitting at my sewing machine Ethan approached me to tell me that Spencer had thrown up all over himself but was still sleeping. At this point I was mostly frustrated that I was going to have puke to clean up. I got all of my cleaning supplies and a wash cloth and sat down to clean him and the couch. I washed his face and removed his shirt and had no response from him. I realized that he had taken something or drank something. I wasn't sure what to do to find out what was going on so I texted my sister and Tyler came to try and help me. We read through some of the messages on his ipod and found out that he had drunk a pint of real vanilla extract. I tried feeling for his pulse and his heart wasn't beating right. He would have a couple of faint beats and then a pause and then a stronger one. Both Tyler and I were very concerned for him at this point. We moved him to the floor and he continued to vomit on himself here and there. Tyler decided that he would go find our bishop and ask him for advice on what we should do. When our bishop came over he said we needed to get him to the hospital. Tyler took the back seats out of the van and our bishop helped carry him to the back of the van. He rode in the back with Spencer as Tyler drove. I stayed home with the kids and worked on carpet shampooing the couch and floor. I was discouraged. I think of that time as being in the depths of despair. While I was kneeling on the floor sweaty and covered in vomit and cleaning supplies a knock came to the front door. It was the relief society president and her husband. My emotions were mixed at this point. I felt thankful but also humiliated by the situation. I had some of the typical Mormon mother thoughts going through my head that maybe if I had read scriptures more with my children or prayed harder.......been better I could have prevented the situation. The RS President came in and said "I will take care of your kids here, your son needs you at the hospital. I am going to have my husband take you and I will watch your kids." At the hospital the very first familiar face I saw was our bishops wife. I saw the sympathy in her eyes and felt so grateful that she was there. I was shown the way back to where Spencer was at. They had hooked an IV up and he was being monitored. There was no real response in his face. Every now and then he would throw up, and if you really shook him his eyes would open for a second. The hospital had run blood tests and his blood alcohol level was 0.289. This level was considered toxic and had caused his heart to beat erratically. Our local hospital isn't equipped to deal with any major medical issues. They decided to transfer Spencer to a larger hospital. We discussed with the doctor about transferring him to another hospital and figured they would send him by ambulance. Shortly after that we were approached by a medical team for life flight. It turns out that because of the way his heart was beating they needed to put him in a pediatric intensive care unit and there wasn't any spots available in Twin Falls so they were going to have to fly him to Boise. Tyler and I went out to the van and I had him pull up to an area near the landing pad to watch the helicopter leave. Seeing our son be taken away by the helicopter was hard. I don't even know what words to use to describe my emotions at this point. My heart broken and aching for that sweet boy that he is inside. After the helicopter took off we went home to sleep for a few hours. We figured Tyler would drive up and get Spencer. When Tyler woke up to head to Boise he decided to take Austin with him. I wanted him to take someone with him because I worried about him falling asleep on the drive. I figured that he would get there pick Spencer up and be back later that Sunday. I was too overwhelmed and tired to even consider going to church. Our home teachers were supposed to come over after church that day so I texted him and said not to come. My house was a wreck, my children could sense the stress in the air and laundry was piled up to the ceiling. Just after I sent the text our home teacher called and said he and his wife would watch our kids so that I could head to Boise to be with Tyler. I tried to give him the easy way out by saying thats okay I didn't get a lot of sleep and I need to rest some more before I drive, but he had conveniently talked to the bishop and he was planning to take me with him and his family to visit Spencer. My next thoughts were okay but I didn't really want to leave my house in such a disaster. I threw some clothes on and began to frantically clean the most heavily used areas that they might see. Within 20 minutes our home teacher and bishop were to our house..... The End of Part One  photo image_zpsbxzqmafo.jpeg Our bishop and Tyler loading Spencer in the van.  photo image_zpsr4kvc6cm.jpeg  photo image_zpsxclhioel.jpeg  photo image_zpsgzqevfye.jpeg

Friday, January 15, 2016

Music...a lesson in emotions

My son Austin has always been quite challenging for me. So challenging that I sought counseling to help me know how to deal with him. One thing I really wanted him to learn as a boy was to have compassion for others. As I prayed and thought about how to deal with him I decided I needed to find someone in whom he could offer service to. There aren't any rest homes close by so I pondered who he could help. I remembered an older lady in our ward that needed interaction so badly they would pass a sign up sheet In Relief Society. I set it up so that while his other siblings had piano lessons he would go to Norene's house and visit. For over a year and a half he went over once a week and visited. Norene was very gifted musically, when she was younger she was invited to attend Julliard school of music. She loved music. Because of her health issues she was no longer able to play the piano or sing. My Austin was able to help fill some of her love of music by being In her home and playing her piano. I even played for her a few times...and she loved every moment of it. My younger kids would come into her house every time and she would share her little snack bowl of cereal with them. On Halloween I would make it a point for us to stop and visit her. On the last Halloween that we visited before her death we had a nice visit and then Austin stood up and said "well I guess I should play the piano for you now." He got up and played so beautifully. There was such a moment of peace in her home I wish I could have stayed there the whole night. http://youtu.be/ji59n2zjb1M A few months ago a good friend's husband passed away in a tragic accident. I planned to go to the viewing alone, but somehow circumstances changed and Austin ended up coming with me. My friend knew of Austin's talent on the piano and asked him to play. Austin sat down and played Chopin's Grande Valse Billiante so beautifully in the room that everyone could feel it. At the end my friend, with tears in her eyes, thanked him for making her feel happier with his song. http://youtu.be/5jLX5lXKn4w I know that music has the power to convey emotion and I am so thankful for my Austin's music talents.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Divorce....A love lesson

For some reason when I hit puberty my self esteem took a nosedive. I believed that I was ugly because as far as I could tell there were no boys interested in me. One of my friends seemed to have every boy in the Junior High interested in her. As I grew older I made poor choices, and many based on what I viewed would make boys like me. As an adult I see teenage girls just like I was and it makes me feel a little bit sad for them. If only they could see how talented and beautiful they really are! When I was 19 I started going to cosmetology school full time and working part time. I was busy and with any spare moment that I had I would party with my friends. When I started Cosmetology school my hair was quite long and when I graduated my hair was short. When I first cut all of my hair off I hated it. In fact I remember meeting someone at the Vortex (a dance club) and giving him my number. A few weeks later....my hair much shorter he asked me out and I said "No, I got a haircut and my hair is ugly now." He asked "why don't you let me be the judge of that." I told him that I knew it was ugly. I never went out on a date with him. I remember feeling quite depressed about my hair. I felt so desperate that I bought special vitamins and a drink called Ultra Hair which were supposed to help with hair growth. I also used an electric rake at school to stimulate my scalp. I don't think I went out with my friends to pick up on guys for a few months. Now I find it surprising that I would put so much of my worth into a hairstyle! Sometimes my friends and I would go to Single Adult dances. They were held in various locations around the Salt Lake Valley, and occassionally at Saltair. While attending a Single Adult dance I met my first husband. I remember the one thing that really attracted me to him was his accent. As I visited with him I found out that he was from Guatemala. Shortly after we began dating we decided to get married. I had a lot of doubts about marrying him and I would pray about it. However, my mind was clouded with confusion. I worried "what if he is the only one that ever wants to marry me." Also, when you are intimate with someone I think you have so many emotions attached to the person and that it clouds your judgement. We married after only knowing each other for a few months. Fredy was 10 years older than me, and also had been excommunicated from the church. What I should have seen as red flags I thought were things that would change. I really had no realistic view of how relationships are. After being married for a couple of months Fredy confessed to me that he had kissed a girl at the moives. Fredy's dream job was to buy and sell used cars for a profit. Sometimes he would also work doing asbestos removal. Most of the time while I was working full time he was home or wherever doing something that I didn't know. Through our whole marriage he would constantly be looking at other women, even flirting in front of me. Then there began to be a time when he wouldn't want to have sex with me. I would try and ask him what the problem was and he would say "I'm an old man, I just don't want it like when I was younger." Other times he would tell me that he didn't find my body type attractive. I would feel so discouraged by this. I was around 105 lbs and I would do my step aerobics tapes to help me "look" better. During this time period he had applied to be a permanent resident (he wasn't a citizen of the United States). I remember very clearly going to one of the interviews with him and they asked him if he had ever been arrested before and he said "yes, for soliciting a prostitute." I was completely shocked and the interviewer could tell and asked me if I had known. I said that I hadn't and Fredy started demanding that he had told me before. I am positive that he didn't tell me before. That is something I wouldn't forget. Our entire marriage was tumultuous. It seemed like everything that was important to me wasn't to him. He would challenge everything that I believed in. I really had to think about my faith at that time. I really developed a strong conviction of the things that I believed. Throughout this process he was constantly critical of me. He would say things like "you can't take the sacrament, three months ago you were drinking, so you are not worthy." (I have to add that I had met with the bishop and discussed the drinking with him). I also came to know that the only person that can determine whether or not you are worthy to take the sacrament would be you. It really is between yourself and the Lord. I was stuck in a pattern where I would try really hard to follow what the church teaches and then I would give up for a bit and then come back. Even though I would give up for a bit I still believed in the LDS church's teachings. It was just a constant battle to do what was right. During this time peroid I was constantly anxious. I wanted to be a mother so badly, but I just didn't like the thought of him being the father to my children. I felt so insecure, I just knew he was out cheating on me. And you know what? He was. I thought if I called him every day from work and spoke with him that it would remind him "oh yeah, I have a wife." It never did. Many times I wanted to get divorced. Life would happen though and I would put it off. February of 1997 we went on vacation to Hawaii. Two days after we came back he confessed to sleeping with a few prostitutes. I remember crying and feeling sick to myself. As I laid there next to him in our bed I could no longer stand it. I got up and drove over to my sister Angie's house (it was the middle of the night by this time) and asked her husband Bryan to give me a blessing. I was so thankful that she lived close to me. In hindsight I really believe that she was living in that area because I needed her there. After the blessing I got up and drove back to the house I owned with Fredy and began to pack up my car. I told him that I was done. He cried and many times begged me to stay. He said he would change. I told him to change for his next wife. I moved back home to my parents house. It was kind of weird to go from being married to living with my parents again, but they were super understanding towards me. On one of the first nights back at my parents house I sat in the front room reading scriptures with my parents and younger siblings and when it was my turn to read, I read 2 Nephi Chapter 10 verse 23 Therefore, Cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves--to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life. As I read the scripture I felt like it was speaking to me. I felt a peace that I hadn't in a long time. I also knew that getting divorced from him was the right thing to do. Physically I felt as though a weight had physically been lifted off my shoulders. I hadn't realized how much of a burden I was bearing until it was no longer there. Looking back I don't regret being married to Fredy. It really shaped me into the person that I am today. Now I look at my sweet husband Tyler and I am so glad that I married him. He is a great husband to me and a great father to our children.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Life Lessons from Leslie, My Beautiful & Amazing sister part 2

Three years ago we took our family on a Cruise and to Disneyland for Christmas. At the time Leslie wasn't dating anyone (at least as far as I knew). We made plans for her to come with us on our vacation. She is a good friend, and more helpful than a husband with the kids. I was excited for her to come. I loved having her for our family vacations! Because of all of the time she has spent with us, my kids really bonded with her and all of them love her so much. One night on our cruise she was showing the kids the proper way to do an cannon ball into the hot tub and failed to navigate her body far enough in to miss the steps. Although she didn't go to the doctor we are pretty sure that she broke her tail bone. I know she was in pain for months after. Also this made going on any rides at Disneyland not as much fun. The day that our Cruise returned we checked into a hotel across the street from Disney and planned to go the next day. The next day as we all got up and ready to go, Tyler was feeling really sick so he decided to stay in our hotel room while the rest of us went. I was so thankful to have Leslie there to help me with all of my kids. I am sure she would have rather stayed back at the hotel room and rested her tail bone but she stuck by my side. I Loved all of the memories that we made together!  photo crusiepic.jpg This is a picture of us just as we are getting on the ship. I was super annoyed that they made us stop for a photo, but now I am glad that have this memory with my sister. Shortly after we came back from our vacation Leslie began dating someone. They dated for almost two years before they were married. When I met Bryan I could tell what a great guy he was. He seemed to be a perfect match for Leslie. I remember telling him about how much I grieved when Leslie found out she was pregnant with Jared. All of the times that I have been pregnant have been happy occasions and I wanted her to have that feeling too! He told me with emotion in his voice that he wanted that for her as well.  photo f0fb0321-a492-4dde-96f5-634f7c5734bf_zpsbhhowgy1.jpg  photo c69de487-284a-4611-9a78-0b9da38d1f6f_zps493xfmxb.jpg Here is a picture of Bryan and Leslie outside of the Oquirrh Hills Temple with Jared. We gained family when Leslie gave Jared up for adoption. Ryan and Sherry fit with our family just like they were one of us! Because of some health issues Leslie and Bryan knew that they would have to get invitro-fertilization to get pregnant. Shortly after the wedding they began the process. I remember praying so hard for Leslie. More than anything I wanted her to be a mother! On the first round they gave her about a 50% chance of concieving. They implanted two eggs and the chance of triplets was around 1%. I hoped and prayed that she would at least have twins. Well at her first U/S there were three heartbeats! She was pregnant with triplets.  photo lesliepreg_zpsjn8mc4pz.jpeg Here is a cute belly shot of her at 31 weeks! I actually thought she looked really great. Every time that I have been pregnant people have asked me "Are you sure there is just one in there?" I found this super annoying and it made me feel homocidal. At least when she was asked she could say actually there are three. I haven't been able to visit as much as I would like since the babies were born, but I am so happy for Leslie! She has the most beautiful babies.  photo 7cac8c85-9d2e-47bd-88c0-f603ff85addc_zpsmwghhpbk.jpg  photo 515ffb78-b2e0-4c42-8665-9d53e4a7e258_zpsiaq7h7vo.jpg I know that she was blessed for doing something that was right, yet so hard. To go from a day that was probably the hardest one of her life.  photo ea7f9631-5942-4ceb-ab81-4223e9279eab_zpsf534e95e.jpg To a day like this one!  photo lesliebaby2_zpsdoalytfy.jpg I want Leslie to know what a great example she has been to me my whole life. I Love you Leslie.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

"Mom You're Drunk"

For Christmas this year we went to California with Tyler's family. We planned to spend a day at Disneyland and a day at California Adventure. I had planned to buy the kids some kind of souvenir while we were there. On the day we went to California Adventure it was quite chilly that morning. I didn't bring a jacket but I wasn't worried because the sun was shining and we were walking around.......with the exception of Ethan. He really can't walk long distances, so we rented a wheelchair. Since Ethan was so cold, I went to a souvenir shop while he was on a ride and bought him a hoodie. He was quite grateful at that time because he felt so cold. Later on in the day I took Brigham and Hailey to buy something. Hailey picked Mini Mouse ears with a bow, and Brigham picked a double fan that spins with lights. At this point Ethan starts to feel jealous and a little bit jipped because he wants a toy. I told him sorry but his hoodie was his souvenir. He was kind of mad and sulky the rest of the night. A little side note here. When I get really tired I my mood is generally either laughing happy or crying depressed. When we were done with the lights and water show we decided to head back to the rental house. On the way to the car I see a giant lollipop stick on the ground still wrapped up. Since I am such a frugal minded Mother I say "Hey Ethan, there is your souvenir, and look it is still in the wrapper." Ethan replies "No, That is gross mom. You don't know where that sucker has been." Hailey then agreed, I said you are right, but wait.......this is your last chance for another souvenir. They left it on the ground and kept walking to the van, Hailey rolling her eyes at me. I then said: You are right you never know where that sucker has been. Someone probably bought that sucker and took it into the bathroom swirled it around in the toilet and then left it there for some kid to find. I then laughed....or perhaps even cackled evily, and had a brilliant idea. I suggested that next time we go to Disney instead of enjoying the rides we should buy a sucker swirl it around in the toilet and then leave it on the ground for some unsuspecting kid to find, and better yet we could hide in the huge hedges they have and watch..............lol. I then cackled some more at how clever I am. Hailey pipes in "Mom some jokes are mean funny, and some jokes are just mean, and that joke is just mean." Being the stellar example of a good Mother, I dissagreed with her and decided that we should put it up for a vote ............So I asked the kids by raise of hand who wanted to do the sucker swirly. Brigham and Max voted with me, and Hailey, Ethan and Tyler voted against me. Spencer and Austin were riding with Grandma and Grandpa (however, being adolecent boys I'm sure they would have voted with me). As we pulled up to the stoplight outside of Disneyland I saw some pedestrians crossing the rode and began to narrate the action for us. There was a family trying to cross quickly because the crossing light was going to change. One of the ladies dropped something and had to run back and get it. I yelled out some encouragement inside our car. She made it to her item and across the road in the nick of time. I again laughed. Brigham never really seeing me laughing tired looks at me and in all seriousness says "Mom, you're drunk." Of course I then had to laugh some more. Then I proceeded to tell him: Yes, Yes I am. I am drunk on LOVE..........lol. Ahhh............the fun of family Vacations. With me as the crazy mother!

Friday, July 25, 2014

Life Lesson From Leslie, My Beautiful & Amazing sister part 1

Ten years ago we lived in American Fork, Utah. Tyler and my sister Leslie worked at the same place, Nature's Sunshine, in Provo. Leslie was dating a guy named Mike that she had met in her single adult ward. He seemed like a nice enough guy and he seemed to really like Leslie. I was quite anxious for her to get married. She is the sister that is just younger than me and such a kind and fun aunt to my children, I could hardly wait for the day that she gets married and has children of her own. Each day she would come to our house and carpool with Tyler to work. Several days a week she would stay and eat dinner with us and play with the kids. Spencer was 5, Austin was 3, and Hailey was 1. She was always such a kind and loving aunt. Here is a picture of her on Spencer's John Deere tricycle with the three kids.  photo 20041011001_zps52ecbecf.jpg Besides my sister she is one of my best friends. I loved when she would visit us, and the kids did too. One day in May she said that she needed to talk to me. She seemed really stressed out and I felt quite a bit of concern for her. I know that she wanted to talk to me in person, but she ended up telling me over the phone one day. "Jen, I'm pregnant." I remember feeling shocked and in complete disbelief. I cried and It sounded like she was crying on the other end of the phone. The very first thing I thought was, you can keep it. From that point on I felt an un-imaginable amount of grief for her. I felt sad because all of the times that I have been pregnant, although they haven't always been planned, I was happy and excited. I greived in so many ways for her and how I thought she must be feeling. I told her if she kept the baby I would watch it while she worked. She said that she would probably put it up for adoption and that Mike, the father, didn't want to have anything to do with the baby. As a family we all decided to fast for her. I remember genuinely fasting for her and it was so hard......I felt so hungry. I remember putting a roast in the crock pot and all day long I could smell it cooking. I wanted to eat so badly but then I would focus on my sweet sister and keep going. I remember feeling peace, that everything would be okay. As time went on Leslie and Mike met with LDS social services. Leslie started looking at family profiles to find a family for her baby. At one point she mentioned that I could adopt her baby, and as much as I wanted to, it just didn't seem like the right decision. I remembered how I struggled to have my first baby and how much I wanted him. Leslie looked at family profiles to find the right one. Her counselor tried to persuade her for one family, but she only found one family that she liked, Ryan and Sherry. None of us really wanted her to give her baby up. We all knew that she had the financial means and ability to take care of her baby. However, she knew that he would need something that she couldn't provide that sweet boy, a home with a mom and dad. Around this time Tyler and I had decided that we wanted to move to Idaho and raise our children on the farm. It was hard for me to think of moving away from the city, but I really wanted to do what was best for our kids. I also ordered a lot more online by that point in our lives so I knew that if there was something I really needed I could get it on the internet. When we listed our house for Sale, the first people that came through and looked at it bought it. It really was a beautiful home, and I home that I put everything I had into making it mine! We only had about a month to move and Tyler had planned to work for Natures Sunshine for another 4 months. At first I thought we could just rent another home in our area, but the more that I thought and prayed about things, I felt like we needed to move in with Leslie. We packed up our home and put the majority of it in storage and in her garage, since the storage unit I rented was too small. It wasn't easy living with Leslie, I was constantly worried that my kids were going to mess her house up in some way and I know that she likes everything super clean and I worried that I wouldn't be able to keep it to her standard. I tried to plan some kind of activity on the weekends so that we weren't constantly under her feet and in her way. I really knew that moving in with Leslie was the right thing to do and several years later she confirmed as I read what she had written in her blog. LESLIE: " About the time I felt so utterly hopeless, my sister and her husband sold their house. They needed somewhere to live, so they moved in with me. Jenny, Tyler, and their three kids were my light in the dark world. If she hadn’t moved in with me, I am not sure I would’ve gotten through it. I still cried myself to sleep many nights, but at least I had someone who loved me and went to church with me. She even made me lunches. Jenny and her family were so great to have around. Her kids may have been loud, but they were so happy that they brought me joy. Hailey a tiny little girl and wasn’t even two yet. I turned into her favorite person. When she was sad or in trouble, it didn’t matter where I was, she’d come looking for me because she knew I would pick her up and love her. When my sister and her husband got their family picture taken, Spencer was upset because I wasn’t in in and I was "part of their family too". Little kids are wonderful in that they don’t judge. I think that is part of the reason we are supposed to be like a little child. They love unconditionaly and they forgive so quickly." Leslie was due at the beginning of February with Jared. We ended up moving about a week before Jared was born. However I told Leslie that I would come down when she was in Labor. I wanted to meet the nefew that I feard I would never see again. Leslie went about a week overdue and then she was induced. Once the induction began I headed to Utah with my three little ones. I know one of my sister Bridget (thanks Bridget) watched my kids so that I could go to the hospital to be with Leslie. It seemed to be taking forever for her to push the baby out. I remember trying to give her advice on how to push better (now in hindsight I think how annoying this must have been....sorry Les). Eventually the doctor was able to pull the baby out with a lot of cutting and forceps. He was the biggest new born I had ever seen, Jared weighed 11 pounds 2 ounces! Before Leslie had him I had considered myself kind of a martyr for having a nine pound baby. I told her she could keep the biggest baby award for herself though.  photo b130bb5b-13c1-47cb-bdd8-8bb492c9615c_zpsd90699bc.jpg  photo ea7f9631-5942-4ceb-ab81-4223e9279eab_zpsf534e95e.jpg After Leslie went through all of this I worried that she might be so broken that she would never want to have another relationship. Many nights I prayed for her to find someone. I might have even looked on some online websites to help her find someone. She refused to look online for someone......in hindsight I can also see why. Leslie was such a good Aunt to my children and a good sister to me. She even went on quite a few of our family vacations with us. I loved it! It was like having one of my best friends that I could hang out with. She was also so helpful with the kids! Some of the kids best memories are with Leslie on our vacation.  photo july2011022-1.jpg With every part of my soul I hoped for her to find someone to love and for her to be a mother! Many nights I prayed and cried for my sweet sister.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Potty Stories

When potty training little boys I find it easiest to teach them to pee sitting down. It works pretty well at home, but I think every single one of my boys has at one point forgotten to aim down. I can recall twice having my nylons being peed on in the church bathroom...lol Oh....the joys of motherhood! Last year we discovered that Ethan had an inguinal hernia. Because of his age and other health issues, I had to take him to see a pediatric general surgeon. We set up and appointment for Primary Childrens Hospital in Salt Lake since the Neurologist that he sees is there as well. On the way down for the appointment I discovered that Ethan didn't have any shoes....he had left them home. I had all of the kids with me because Tyler was busy with farming. I decided that once we got to Ogden we would stop at Smith and Edwards and see what they had for shoes. We stopped and I bought him a pair of sandals that I thought would stay on his feet(They didn't of course). Shortly after that we were on the freeway and I was feelingf pushed to make it to our appointment on time. Brigham stands up from where he was sitting and taps me on the shoulder as I am driving(BTW, The Speed limit was 75 here and I usually set my cruise control for 80). He says "Mom, I need to go pee." I tell him "well you are just going to have to hold it." He tells me that there is no way that he will be able to hold it for that long. I dump out a water bottle and tell him, "here just pee in this." In my logical mind, you just aim down into the water bottle and problem is solved. I turn my head just in time to see that he doesn't have the water bottle positioned right and that it is going to spill all of the pee. I grab the bottle and tilt it down to where it is supposed to be, and of course, at that very same moment is when he was beginning to pee. Therefore, In the process pee begins to squirt like a fire hose all over the dash board, steering wheel, me, and my clothing (mostly my jeans). I told him to pinch it off and quickly pulled over so that he could finish outside of the car. While he finished, I wiped the dash board and steering wheel down with diaper wipes and blotted my jeans the best I could as I would not be able to change my clothes until we arrived at my parents home that evening. I called Primary's to let them know we would be late for our appointment and they were very kind to us and the doctor still saw us. I didn't get to change until that evening, and lucky for me I was also able to shower. I remember on of my sister's children being mortified at the fact that one of my boys was peeing outside near the sandbox at Grandma's house. I didn't really care, because I was glad that they didn't pee their pants. However, I did give them the talk about if you are near a bathroom you don't pee outside. When Spencer was a toddler he loved the fact that when we came to visit the farm he could pee outside. He started to take his freedom a little too liberally. On one Occasion when we went to the Hogle Zoo, near the entrance is a giant rotating water ball. I watch Spencer and the other children from the "village" (student housing at the U of U)play in the water and have fun trying to push it in different directions. All of the sudden Spencer whips his pants down and pees on the gaint ball. I was so mortified. I didn't stop him because I didn't know where the restrooms were, and I was grateful that he didn't pee his pants. I don't even know how many times he whizzed out on the playground at the village. I kind of got to the point that it wasn't that big of a deal to me. I'm sure plenty of the other playground moms didn't like me, but I didn't have the energy to worry about them. When Brigham was 3 we had a pool pass and would enjoy swimming at our local Oakley Swimming pool. When we pulled up the kids all jumped out ahead of me. I had made Brigham put his life jacket on before we left so I wasn't too worried about them running ahead of me. Since we had a pool pass for the summer I went to write or number down at the desk and just as I walked up the stairs to the pool I see Brigham standing at the edge of the pool, and an arch of pee landing right in the middle section of the pool. I wasn't really embarassed at what he was doing, I felt quite annoyed. I guess that is why they have chlorine for swimming pools. I gave him the pee lecture but In'm sure my sweet stubborn little boy didn't listen. Brigham still loves to pee outside and recently was in trouble for peeing outside while at recess. He is in Kindergarten. I hope by the time he is in junior high he'll get it. So far this is only a portion of our pee stories.....lol I hope you found a little amusment in my crazy life. I haven't even been able to cover the funny things that seem to happen to me. Another time I'll cover the poop stories and I'll be sure to include this gem from when Ethan was little: http://familyhepworth.blogspot.com/2009/01/unpleasant-story-with-tmi.html