In a good placeI don't know if I mentioned before but I am now the secretary in the Relief Society Presidency at our Church. The RS president used to help with the LDS 12 step program in our area. One time a few years ago when I questioned if I should let my brother come and live with me I called her. She was so level headed and gave me great advice. I remember her asking me what I was going to do when he came home high. Would I kick him out? I know whatever I did would certainly affect my kids, and I didn't really want that kind of influence on them. I remember I kept saying "what if I tell him he can't live with me and he dies, then it will be my fault." It is so interesting how time and experience can change your perspective.I am at a point in my life where I know that it doesn't matter what I say or do, my brother is going to do what he wants to do. I pray for him and I often reflect on the Serenity prayer (this is the same prayer they use at AA) God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. I love my brother so much and I would do anything in my power to change the choices that he is making but I recognize that I am powerless. I do put my trust in a higher power though. I know that my prayers are heard. I don't know what is to happen in my brothers life, but I have peace in my own. I still have hope that he will change, not very much hope, but I realized that I can't really ever lose hope that a miracle will happen.
Goodby to Jasper
Around 5 our neighbor knocked on our door and showed me that Jasper was laying in the road in front of our house dead. :( I'm so sad. I'm going to miss him. He was my faithful running companion. On Monday when we ran his fur was covered with frost when we got back because it was so cold. I got him so food and petted him and told him what a great running friend he is. He was such a smart dog he knew all of the turn around points when I would run. He would stop and wait for me at every one of them and if I kept going he would lick my leg and then keep running with me. I hate to be licked and he would always sneak and lick me whenever possible. Every time I was getting into the van he would lick my jeans. I always felt safe running with him because people are so scared of him and I know he would have protected me if I'd needed it. We are going to get another dog but I can't imagine that we will ever get one that is as great of a companion as Jasper. Jasper was such a lovin
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